When genealogy leads you to the dark side...

Tonight, as I finished writing a letter to an old friend turned pen pal, I stopped and looked at my handwriting. I thought of my mother's handwriting, which I have always loved. Her writing is a mix between print and penmanship. For a while in high school, I perfected the art of forging it to skip school. Thinking of this, and of my grandparents' writing, I thought... if I have children, I wonder if they will look at my writing someday and think about how beautiful it is, and how it reminds them of all the little notes in their lunch boxes, the 'I miss you!' cards when they're away, the letters on special occasions.

I shared this with my partner, who naturally then asked, "Is genealogy making you want kids more?"

My grandmother holding my mother, approx. Dec 1961

Well.

Good question.

I have had a staunchly anti-parenting plan for my entire adult life. I did not want children. Now, puppies and kittens, I could get on board with. But kids? Money-siphoning, back talking, germ spreading kids? No thank you. At 28 years old, I find that my uterus has turned against me. I'm questioning my life plans. I know it's hormones, but my God, they are powerful.

Thinking about the bonds between families, spending time talking to mine, looking at the records of people long since past... none of this is helping in my battle against the biological clock. I think my girlfriend is right. Gulp.

I need to adopt a kitten. Stat.